My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
