He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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