By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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