Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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