so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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