dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
