so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
