Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
