I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
