im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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