Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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