Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize