Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
This baby is an asshole
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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