I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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