i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
