I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
