Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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