That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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