I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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