you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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