I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
