do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
this is an emotional support booty call
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
