do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Randomize
