worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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