can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
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some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
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I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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