what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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