We're like a lot better than the average bears
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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