Having a random hookup so left but love u
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
