I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
