how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
