yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
send nudes
from the living room?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
