Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
