I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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