he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Be still, my beating vagina.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Randomize
