Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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