I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
