everyone is single if you try hard enough
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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