Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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