We're like a lot better than the average bears
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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