id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Randomize
