I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
