its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize
