Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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