So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Randomize
