I'm really into asian looking animals
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
