Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
