I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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