Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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