I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's rum buckets o'clock
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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