My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
