even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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