Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
