and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
