Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize