do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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