u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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