Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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