honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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