Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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