my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
So squirting runs in the family.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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