Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just saw a hot homeless man
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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