I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
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she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
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I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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