Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
